Juicing Day 27: Inception Nut Milk Recipe

Are you ready for mind-bending deliciousness? Brace yourselves, because this recipe is just that, and I somehow came up with it myself. Shocking!

It’s completely raw.

It’s dairy-free.

It’s low-fat.

It’s like a creamsicle full of crack and unicorn magic. (Not really. I wouldn’t know what either of those tastes like.)

I call it … well, you already know. Don’t you sense an over-the-top illustration coming on?

Please make this. You will not be disappointed.

Inception Nut Milk Recipe

(Makes 9 cups)


  • 2 cups raw hazelnuts
  • 1 cup raw almonds
  • zest of one whole orange
  • 3 Tbsp. raw honey
  • 2 Tbsp. raw coconut nectar (like this)
  • 2 Tsp. pure vanilla extract (use a raw variety or make your own if you’re hardcore)


  1. Follow steps 1-3 of the easy nut milk how-to, combining the orange zest with the nuts as you puree them. Freeze nut pulp for later use in cooking or baking!
  2. Whisk or blend in the honey, coconut nectar, and vanilla. Note: The coconut nectar does not add coconut flavor to this drink. But that does sound fancy, doesn’t it?
  3. Serve over ice, freeze into actual creamsicles, or imbibe via beer bong. Your choice.
  4. Let me know what you think!

Juicing Day 15: Halfway Done. Going Nuts!

Today marks the halfway point! It’s all downhill from here! (She says, listening to The Civil Wars and sippin’ on peas and carrots. It’s the new gin ‘n’ juice, trust me on this one.)

To commemorate, I went to Whole Foods and bought a donkey-load of raw nuts for mass nut milk production.

Side note: I just spelled “bought” b-o-t and then corrected it to b-a-u-g-h-t. Clearly there is something in this peas and carrots juice that isn’t vegetable. Shhhhh.

The first batch will be hazelnuts, already taking a pre-gametime soak, a la the ludicrously fratty Ryan Lochte canyoubelievethisguy?

Other nuts pictured here: almonds, cashews, brazil nuts, pistachios

We’ll try them all individually to get to know the flavor of each, and then will come some fun with mixing and matching. This newfound obsession has come at a price, however. And that would be … uh, the actual price. Nuts aren’t cheap! Does anyone know where to go for inexpensive raw organic nuts? Whole Foods has the bulk section, which is great, but it’s still not cheap. We will be sticking to only 1 or 1.5 cups each of nut milk a day, too, since they don’t offer quite the punch of nutrients that our other juices do, and can be high in fat and carbs.

Last night we played a very challenging two matches (four games, 25 pts each) of beach volleyball in our last set of the season (SO SAD!). We came home exhausted, covered in sweat and sand and beaming from ear to ear. Sometimes Chicago gives us gunshots (okay, that’s more than “sometimes” on our block), and sometimes it’s just the best place you could ever ask for.

Feelings and Things

  • I feel wonderful. Nothing special to report!

Juicing Day 14: Boys and Their Nut (Milk)

As I mentioned, my parents were in town earlier this week and made us some amazing juiced gazpacho. I’ve been holding out on this next thing, though, because it is so important to our juicing cleanse that only a whole new post would do it justice. I hope you’re ready, because I can hardly contain myself. My parents also gave us a NUT MILK BAG. I’ll pause to wait for all LOLs to wrap up. Nuts. Milk. Bag. Bah-ha! Okay.

Ready? Oh, good. Ahem. Nut milk bag. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

What this gem of a product is, if you haven’t yet guessed or googled (and undoubtedly gotten some interesting search results) is a fine mesh bag with which you make homemade raw nut milk. You can also use cheese cloth, but a bag is washable, reusable, and generally very convenient. After opening the package, not five minutes later Andy had retrieved a glass bowl and measured out water for our first batch. See, my parents were extra smart and also bought us some raw almonds.

We can definitively say that after 13 straight days of juicing, there is no love like nut milk love. It is creamy, slightly sweet, and fills some nutritional gap or flavor profile we’ve obviously been missing. This will likely be a daily snack from here on out – I think just a cup or so will eradicate our occasional cravings for something more substantial.

I am SO happy right now! Here’s the how-to:

Please excuse my devastating photoshop "skills."

Andy froze the remains for future use in cookies, bars, pastas, and whatever else. I know – hold the phone. Did you catch a theme throughout this post? The theme is ANDY DOING KITCHEN THINGS, and it is something to behold. [Obligatory joke about boys and their nuts] I encourage you all to juice fast your male partners for two weeks and then place in front of them a bag of raw nuts and the nut milk bag with instructions. Please send photos.